Thicker Skin

That's what a colleague of mine told me I needed to get. She said this after she made a derrogatory comment about my teaching (her exact words were, "Do you want me to tell you what kind of a teacher I think you are?"). We disagree on the way one of our classes should be taught, and that's the comment she resorted to when I pointed out that the curriculum doesn't state how far I should get in regard to time periods in American Literature. When she realized that she hurt my feelings she told me I needed to get thicker skin.

Why? So that people like her can say mean, hurtful things and get away with it?

It does make me mad that I let people have that kind of power over my emotions. After she made that comment, I walked to my classroom and just stood there for a while feeling defeated. I couldn't figure out why, but then it dawned on me: Ray is the same way. He will say or do something that hurts my feelings and will then tell me that I should just get over it. He never says he's sorry nor does he ever try to make the situation better.

So, after basically being told that I suck as a teacher (I'm pretty sure she feels superior to me), I came home to a house with a husband who basically told me that I suck as a wife.

Some days, it's more than I can handle. When he started in on me, I just left. I went shopping, but my sour mood followed me there, and every time I looked at myself in the mirror, all I saw were my flaws and I bought nothing.

So now I feel worse. I should be excited. There are only 2 days left with the kids, and I have been waiting for this week since the first day of school. But, I have given my power away to two people who have abused it.

I wish I could figure out how to take it back.