Accidentally...

That's what I did tonight...I accidentally hit and killed (I think) a black dog. I've been trying to post only positive things, but I just have to record how I feel. I've never killed someone's pet before. Not only that, I've never even HIT someone's pet.

I was driving home from the store having bought the ingredients for homemade apple pie, when out of no where, this medium sized black dog was coming sideways in front of my car. I didn't even see him/her until I was right up on him/her. I tried to miss the dog. I really did. I turned the wheel of the car so hard, and I thought I had the dog cleared. But I didn't. I hit it. My tires were screeching and all my food was rolling around the back of the car. It was loud too. I pulled over at the next street and tried to call Ray, but for whatever reason, he didn't come to the phone. I hung up, turned around, and drove back to the house where I thought the dog would be. There he/she was, lying in the ditch. The people who lived in that house had come out; I guess they heard it. I pulled in their driveway and asked them if they knew whose dog it was. The dog I hit and probably killed was the neighbor's--a little old lady.

I stood there as they put the dog on a sheet and loaded it into the back of their van. I didn't know what to do. The dog wasn't blinking and it was obviously having trouble breathing. They weren't rushing off to the vet. They were just standing around the back where they laid the dog. A man then came over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. Thank you for stopping." That's what he said to me. "I really tried. I tried so hard not to hit the dog." "It wasn't your fault. It's a black dog at night." "I'm really sorry, especially the night before Thanksgiving." And off I went.

I sobbed. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I just killed someone's beloved pet, and all I could think of was Tyson and how I felt when we lost him. Now I brought that onto someone else.

I know it really isn't my fault. I tried to miss the dog; I even hurt my shoulder in the process (it was already sore), but it doesn't change the fact that I feel so sad for those people. I wish I could take it back. I wish I had spent less time in the store then I would have gotten to that spot way before that dog did. Or, I wish I had looked a little harder for those chocolate wafers. Then, that dog would have been home long before I arrived. I just wish it never happened.

But it did. It makes me think about why things happen and what we are supposed to learn from them...I haven't quite figured this one out yet.