Yuck

Tomorrow is my 39th birthday...I should be excited about that...but, truth be told, I'm feeling bummed out. Not because it's the last time I'll see a 3 in front of my age, but because it feels like it's going to be just another day.

Yuck.

I really miss the days when I was celebrated, when my birthday meant something to the people around me, when I got presents. I know I sound like a baby, but there are few days that are just about me. Actually, there is no other day that's just about me. I share Mother's Day with Mom and Ray's mom. I share my anniversary with Ray, of course. Christmas is more about the kids than anyone. So, what's left? My birthday, which I now share with Denise, making me not important.

I've been waiting for Ray to say something all day. Something like, "So, what do you want to do for your birthday?" or "Do you want to go out tonight? I asked my mom if she would babysit." But, nothing. Tomorrow I will wake up, go to church, go to Hannah's volleyball game, go to Kaleb and Denise's birthday party, and then come home so Ray can watch the superbowl. I'll receive a few phone calls, maybe get a card from the kids. But that's it. Nothing special.

Just another blip on time's radar.

Yuck.