Images of me with

Sue,

Ray,



Randy,

Hannah,

My sistahs,

and Me

courtesy of Jo Ann.

After perusing the pictures she gave me, I realized something...maybe it's not a bad idea to be behind the camera...there are quite a few unflattering pictures of me in front of the camera!

I don't think I'll complain any more about not having pictures of me! ;-)

Viewer Discretion is Advised

As mentioned in an earlier post, I've really been thinking about throwing my knapsack over the wall. I thought deciding to enter a scrapbook contest was the thing for me to do, but that contest has been put on hold. So, I've decided I'm going to be honest and up front about my physique.

I'm very much out of shape. Right now I weigh 124 pounds. That's not bad, I know. For 5'5" and 38 years old, that's pretty good. But remember, I said I was out of shape not fat. The embarrassing part is that I am at 25% body fat. I realize that that means I'm only 1/4 fat, but 25% is the far end of "normal". I don't want to be just "normal." I read that to be "fit" to be "lean" I would need to be around 19-22% body fat. My goal is to be at 20% by Christmas.

I only focused on my weight--not muscle--all summer because the steroids I was taking causes people to gain weight. As my doctor put it, "You blow up like a chipmunk." You also cannot lose weight while taking them. I was so adamant about not gaining any weight. And, I didn't. But, it came with consequences. I'm now "skinny fat." And I hate it. I am ashamed. Now that I am no longer taking that steroid, it is time to get the physique I've always wanted.

So, why did I say, "Viewer Discretion is Advised"? Well, what you will see next will be a bit appalling, but I wanted to stop hiding. I want "everyone" to know what I really look like. What I look like when I'm not sucking it in or dressing to disguise it...Ready????

Gross, isn't it??? ;-)

(Sorry about the open drawers in the pictures. I had been digging through them to find something to wear in the picture and forgot to close them!)

But, did you check out the back fat in that picture?? How about my butt that's trying to reach the back of my knees? Or, the inner thighs that don't let the light of day shine through them?

See, I can hide it. I'm just tired of doing so. And please, no comments like "You don't look bad" because, as we can all plainly see, yes I do! ;-)

Just my thought

I was reading someone's blog who wrote that God is so good because she survived a horrific car accident, married her prince, and beat cancer. I'm glad she was able to do these things, but this is what perturbs me about those who tout the goodness of God. Is God not good if these things don't happen? She wouldn't be thanking God if she didn't survive these things (well, besides the fact that she would be dead). Do people ever think to thank God even when bad things happen? No, they don't. They only thank Him when things go the way they think they should go. But, I think people should thank God no matter what. We would like for life to go our way, but who are we to know what way is best for our spiritual growth? When the bad things come (and this is something I'm working on remembering myself) we should thank God for these trials and tribulations because He sent the bad things to us out of love, so that we can evovle through the tough times. And that's why we are here--to evovle and leave this life a better person than when we came into it.

Isn't he cute????

Didn't have much to write about today but wanted to post something new. I started browsing through my pictures and found these....

It's hard to imagine Ray being that little.

The other day he was talking to me while standing at the kitchen sink. I don't remember exactly what he was talking about, but when I looked at him, I realized that I have known him almost half my life (December will make 19 years since I started dating him) ( and yes, I was thinking all this while he was talking--probably why I don't remember what he was talking about). It just seems like I've known him forever. It struck me as odd, really. I mean, here is a man, a person I did not grow up with, someone who isn't "related" to me, once a complete stranger, and he's living in my house. We share the same bed. And he feels like he is a part of me. He really gets on my nerves a lot, but honestly, I can't even remember what life was like before him and I can't imagine a life without him. It's just wierd, really, how a person with a completely separate past with completely separate experiences can become such an integral part of me.

Horse Back Riding

It's been awhile since we did this (June 27th) , but I thought I would share these pictures. Ray's Dad's cousin owns some horses right outside of Goshen, and we all gathered at the barn where the girls got to meet the horses

and then to ride them.

When the lady asked who was going to ride the horse first, Hannah made sure she was chosen.

Ray wasn't too thrilled about riding and only rode the horse when Anthony and Mike started to call him a chicken.

I spent most of my time outside the barn. I still had a bad case of bronchitis and being in a barn full of dust was not doing me any favors. But, when I did come inside, I rode the horse with Emily. (Ray had to be prompted by Mike to take a picture of me on the horse with Emily)

The kids had to wait patiently in line until it was their turn to ride a horse.

They started doubling up in order to get more rides in.

Even Melanie got on a horse...

Kaleb got help from Uncle Mike and his dad...

Sean...

The kids had a great time riding the horses and can't wait to do it again!

Goodnight...

Emily in her new pj's...



Hannah in hers...

Ahh...makes me want to run out and buy me some too!

She bought footies

I took Emily shopping tonight while Ray coached Hannah's practice to buy Emily an outfit for picture day on Thursday. We didn't end up finding a new dress like we had hoped, but she did come away with some new pajamas...footies!! She saw them hanging on the rack and shouted, "I love footie pajamas!" So, we bought her two pair (I'll post a picture tomorrow). She also begged to get a spaghetti strap tank top like the ones I wear under my shirts. Lately, she has been wearing my clothes and shoes. So, we got her one of those too. We also bought her some shoes and a couple of shirts. It was fun hanging out with her; she's such a funny kid. Tomorrow I take the very picky Hannah shopping...wish me luck! ;-)

Just a quick note of thanks...

I'm just feeling a little bit grateful right now, and thought I would document it. I'm thankful for...

my awesome girls! I don't ever want to know what life is like without them. They just give my life sooooo much meaning and joy (even when Emily is being a little devil and Hannah is acting like she's 13).

my pretty sweet spouse! I know, how often do I say something nice about him, but he is so rocking our basement right now. He's been pretty awesome in more ways than one.

my supportive family! There have been some bumps and bruises along the way, but even still, I can't imagine life without any of them--mom, siblings, nieces, nephews, and in-laws. They make me laugh and feel safe and loved.

my job! I have some pretty tough kids this year, but I'm finally starting to enjoy my job. And, I can't deny how much I love my schedule. I feel like I'm a part-time stay-at-home-mom. That's better than not being a stay-at-home-mom at all.

my house! I am soooooo lovin' this place. It's not huge but it's not small either; it's just right for my little family of 4. And the more work we do, the more I love it. And, I'm thinking of some new plans for my decor. It's time I just go for it, and do the things I think up.

my health! I'm not completely healthy...auto-immune disease and all...but after my recent "scare", all I can say is I'll take those aches and pains over "what it could have been" any day!

my financial status! I'm not super wealthy but I'm also not super poor either. We are pretty comfortable right now and we're investing in the future at the same time...mostly Ray's doing. Have I ever mentioned that the boy's a beast with money???

my growing spirituality! I'm not going to say I'm religious any more, but I do feel I'm very spiritual and every day I learn to connect more and more with the universe--with God--and I hear what is being said...I'm learning to trust myself.

just being alive! I am learning that life is so precious and so transient. It's time to savor every moment--the good and the bad--before I run out of time to have those moments.

Labor Day Weekend

We started Labor Day Weekend on Friday by going to Ken and Chris's house (their daughter plays on Emily's soccer team). We ate pizza and did a little swimming in their heated in-ground pool.

On Saturday, the girls and I went to my Mom's house to hang out, play cornhole, and eat. It was an enjoyable, relaxing afternoon. While we were there I snapped some pictures of the girls sitting on the front porch.

On Sunday, we went to Mt. Adams with Sue, Mya, Bryan, his girls to meet up with Ed, Patrick, and all their friends to watch the fireworks.

We had a couple of hours to burn before the fireworks began so we walked across the street and took some pictures in front of a pretty cool door

Bryan and his girls (not sure why their faces ended up blurry)

(or why these are sideways...)

The girls goofing off...

Me and the girls (look at Emily's face!)



Later, we walked around Mt. Adams for a while checking out the buildings and the view.

Then, it was time for the fireworks.

The show started with parachuters...

These pictures would have been so much better had I remembered to buy a tripod...not sure how I could forget that (I did buy the remote, but just forgot I wanted the tripod)

I am glad we decided to go with Sue this year. The girls had a fun time walking around and playing with Bryan's kids, and they finally got to see some fireworks (since July 4th was a bust). We had such an enjoyable time, in fact, that if we are invited to go again next year, we just might go! ;-)